


Enough Love to Share

by demonsonthemoon



Category: Sense8 (TV)
Genre: Character Study, Multi, discussion of polyamory, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-08
Updated: 2018-07-08
Packaged: 2019-06-07 09:44:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,891
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15216443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demonsonthemoon/pseuds/demonsonthemoon
Summary: Kala is enjoying Nomi and Amanita's wedding, but thoughts of situation with Rajan and Wolfgang are still running through her head.Nomi and Amanita decide that a discussion with Neets' mother might help.





	Enough Love to Share

**Author's Note:**

> I watched the series finale yesterday and wrote this today because I couldn't get over the fact that the opportunity for Kala to discuss her feelings with partners in an actual polyamorous relationship was RIGHT THERE.
> 
> Also I want Grace to be my mom, tbh.

Nomi and Amanita's wedding was beautiful, and everything the women had wanted it to be, and Kala felt like her heart was going to burst with joy.

She had been full of insecurities during her own wedding. She had been full of fear. But she could feel what Nomi was feeling, and she could look into Amanita's eyes, and she knew that, tonight, the people exchanging vows were experiencing nothing but love and excitment. There was nothing between them but the desire to see what life would bring next, because everything was worth it if the two of them shared it.

Kala felt happy. She also felt guilty, because this was what she should have been feeling on her own wedding day. This is what she should have offered Rajan instead of fainting and feeling _relieved_.

But Rajan was here now. He was still here, with her, despite everything. Despite finding his wife sharing their apartment with a horde of people from all over the world. Despite having to run for their lives barely a minute after seeing her again. Despite learning that his wife was another species of human being altogether, and that she was mentally connected to seven other people. Despite learning that, during all this time, she had been in love with another man, on the other side of the world.

Well. She  _guessed_ that he had learned that. She guessed that he had understood. It's not as if she had actually talked to him about it in any straightforward way.

Kala reached for another glass of champagne, and suddenly had one pressed into her grip by a smiling gray-haired woman.

“Some little birdies told me you were in need of some advice,” the woman said. She turned her head slightly, and Kala followed her gaze. Nomi was smiling at her encouragingly, and Amanita gave her a small wave. Kala frowned.

The next second, Nomi was taking her hand in hers and squeezing reassuringly. “This is Amanita's mother. I think... I think it might help you. To talk with her. She's sweet. And, well... I don't want to pressure you into anything. It's okay to tell me to back off.”

“I...” Kala started unsure how to reply.

Nomi smiled. “Just try?”

Kala nodded, and Nomi turned back towards Amanita, whispering something to her that Kala was no longer privy to.

“I'm Grace,” the grey-haired woman said with a smile.

“Kala. You are... Amanita's mother?” She felt self-conscious. She always felt self-conscious when talking to strangers. But now her accent felt heavy on her tongue. She felt Will's gaze on the back of her head from across the room, and knew that she could borrow his language skills if she wanted to, but she had her pride too. Kala had never claimed to be uncomplicated.

“Yes,” Grace replied. “My daughter and her wife told me you were having... relationship problems.”

Kala felt panic rise up in her chest again, and drank half her flute of champagne in one large gulp. It made Grace laugh, which Kala was grateful for. The woman might not have looked at her in such a carefree way if she knew how much Kala had already had to drink.

“I'm gonna take this as confirmation. Would you mind waiting here for just a second?”

Kala nodded and watched the woman stand up and cross the room. She went to a first man, then a second one, and looked around for a few seconds before finding the third one in conversation with Jela, Capheus' best friend.

And then Kala watched them all, a short Jewish woman and three black men, walk back to her table, all with smiles on their faces. Kala was confused. She was confused, but she also remembered Nomi's hand against her own, and somehow that was enough for her not to be afraid.

“Kala, this is Richard, James and Jim.”

“It's easier than saying _the other James_ ,” the one who had been introduced as Jim said with an affable smile.

“I... It's... nice to meet you,” Kala replied. She turned towards Grace with a smile and a tilt of the head, silently asking her for guidance, for a pointer in how she was supposed to react to these introductions.

“These are Amanita's fathers,” Grace said.

Oh. Right. Kala had... heard of them, through Nomi's memories. She hadn't wanted to pry or ask questions, because it would have been rude.

The three men brightened up at Grace's words, like nothing made them prouder than having their bond to Amanita asserted again.

“I'm... confused,” Kala replied honestly.

“That's okay,” James said.

Grace nodded. “That's why I came to you. I thought you might have questions. I've been dealing with questions for 28 years, so trust me when I say I won't be offended.”

“Oh, that's good, because-” Kala cut herself off. She laughed, slightly embarrassed. She knew her thoughts had a habit of running away from her in stressful situations. “I'm sorry.”

Grace shook her head. “I told you I wouldn't be offended. But perhaps you don't know where to start? Do you want me to begin telling you our story, so you can ask your questions later?”

Kala nodded, relieved, and confused at why this woman was being so kind to her. She had learned much, in the past few years, about kindness for kindness' sake. She had learned it from people like Sun or Capheus, and from her own husband. She was learning again from Amanita's mother.

“Well. You have to think that this all happened in the '60s in the United-States. It was... quite a specific cultural environment, I suppose. It's hard to know if things would have worked out the same way in any other context.” She looked up at the three men, who were listening to her attentively too. “I like to think they would have.”

There was such warmth in the look they all exchanged that Kala felt herself smile and relax. This was going to be a nice story, she knew.

And it was. Grace told her how she had met each of Amanita's father, in almost too many details. (Richard had quickly noticed how embarrassed Kala was getting at the sexual nature of many of these annecdotes, and softly scolded Grace for it.) She had explained how having many sexual partners did not prevent someone from making unexpected connexions, and how she had connected to these men, one after the other, and how the connexion had remained.

“I had never been one for stable relationships,” Grace admitted. “But these three? I don't think I would ever be able to shake them off.”

She told Kala about how everything had changed with her pregnancy.

“I wanted a child. So I stopped taking my birth control, and I waited. I thought I would raise her alone. There were so many women out there who didn't come with the trouble of having a kid, so I didn't expect anyone to stay with me through it all. I didn't tell them about it-” From the look that was exchanged in that moment, Kala could tell that this had been the cause of many a discussion. “I just did it. And then I got pregnant. And they all asked me if they were the father.” Grace laughed. “They all looked so hopeful, and each time I didn't know how to react. I told them I didn't know. They already knew each other, so one day...”

They had sneaked up on her and had had a talk, the three of them. Guiltily, they had all made sure that they had received the same answer, that Grace truly didn't know who the father was and hadn't just been saying that to spare the other two's feelings. And then they got to talking. They all wanted to be fathers. They all wanted to be Grace's child's father, if the woman let them. They didn't really need to know who was the biological dad. All of them agreed that they would care for the child as their own even if it was ever revealed that someone else had conceived it.

So they had staged an intervention. Asked point blank if Grace would let them be a part of that child's life. It had been a gamble. They all already felt lucky to be a part of her life, sexually, and even romantically to an extent. But Grace had always been sure to keep a certain distance, a certain independence. If they promised to be there for this child, this promise would last their whole life. It would last all of Grace's life too. It was a promise that they would stay connected, all of them, through whatever came next.

Grace had not been expecting it. She had not expected it, and she had felt confused and scared. She had also felt loved, more than ever before. Grace did like her independence, she did like her distance. But she had also been afraid that being close, emotionally close, meant getting hurt at some point. And these men had taught her that that wasn't quite true. They had taught her that being close could also mean being healed.

Kala was crying, and smiling through her tears.

“Oh, honey,” Grace said. She placed a hand on Kala's shoulder, just long enough that the young woman could have pulled away if she had wanted to, and then pulled her into a hug. “You'll be fine.”

“How do you...” Kala started when they pulled away from each other. “Can you really love them all, at the same time?”

“That might be the easiest question to answer.” Grace's smile was tender and bright, compassionate. “There is so much love in this world darling.”

“Enough to share,” James added.

“Enough to spare,” Richard intervened

“Enough to waste, even,” Jim contributed.

“And quite enough for you, I promise.” Grace closed off.

“And you don't...” Kala turned towards the three men. “you don't... love... each other?”

They exchanged a look, then Richard took the lead and talked. “We love each other quite a lot. As friends. Parenthood creates bonds, you know.”

“And it helps, to be on friendly terms,” Jim said.

“But I don't think you should worry too much about that.”

Kala followed Grace's gaze once more, and found Rajan and Wolfgang laughing together at a story Lito was telling. Kala felt her heart fill with emotion. She had never dared imagine these two men in the same room. She had imagined even less that they might get along, that their meeting wouldn't end in a fight, in tears, in someone getting hurt.

But maybe... Maybe she could imagine it. Her life, with each of them. Maybe she could imagine that kind of happiness.

Wolfgang seemed to feel her gaze on her, and turned towards where she was seated. His gaze was intense, as always, his smile bright and grateful. Noticing that Wolfgang's attention had shifted, Rajan turned too. His smile was loud, sweet. It was open and generous.

Yes, maybe she really could love them both, and maybe they could all be happy even if she did. Maybe these feelings weren't a curse, but a gift instead.

Tears started swelling up in her eyes again.

For a few seconds, Nomi's voice was in her ears.

_Impossibility is a kiss away from reality._

 


End file.
